you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
