This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I can't turn off my feet"
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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