I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I look better un-naked...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
