i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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