HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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