wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
