Can Purell be used as lube?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize