she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
