Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
