the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
