New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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