She said her name was "party"
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize