i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
