That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
