if you like me you must not know who I am
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
