Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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