I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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