Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
