i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
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the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
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What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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