Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
