Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
