He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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