Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices. http://tfl.nu/qbzj
  Replies (5) Good night (1377) Bad night (527)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas. http://tfl.nu/zv1j
  Replies (1) Good night (605) Bad night (890)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks. http://tfl.nu/3tl8
  Replies (12) Good night (1443) Bad night (519)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore http://tfl.nu/b6gx
  Replies (14) Good night (3743) Bad night (779)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls. http://tfl.nu/m95d
  Replies (8) Good night (5769) Bad night (1088)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless. http://tfl.nu/v4st
  Replies (9) Good night (6000) Bad night (1261)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person. http://tfl.nu/31bd
  Replies (3) Good night (2623) Bad night (1318)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches. http://tfl.nu/ctw0
  Replies (10) Good night (3092) Bad night (1349)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level http://tfl.nu/3djd
  Replies (11) Good night (3758) Bad night (721)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (936): The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses. http://tfl.nu/nf3m
  Replies (3) Good night (2226) Bad night (1119)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?

  (813): View more from Florida

  Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  Stop reading WebMD high.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around? (813): Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid? (1-813): Stop reading WebMD high. http://tfl.nu/y2j5
  Replies (6) Good night (1091) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short http://tfl.nu/ro22
  Replies (3) Good night (711) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!! http://tfl.nu/mwf9
  Replies (3) Good night (730) Bad night (381)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were http://tfl.nu/t156
  Replies (1) Good night (264) Bad night (491)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life. http://tfl.nu/i42f
  Replies (0) Good night (95) Bad night (176)

Randomize