Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(661): View more from California

So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.

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(281): View more from Texas

I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.

(401): View more from Rhode Island

Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.

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The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Read it at the TFLN blog
(205): View more from Alabama

I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I think there was chlamydia in those woods.

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(941): View more from Florida

I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting

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(904): View more from Florida

I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.

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