My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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