Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
