i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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