Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
