i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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