this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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