U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
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and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
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Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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