So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
