I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
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His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
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It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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