her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
