Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Randomize
