Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
