Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
