Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I'm jealous of your bromance
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize