the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
