So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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