look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
