haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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