Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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