the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
