where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
