PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
