marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
