nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
