DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
