i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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