I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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