Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
