so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
