Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
