Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
