Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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