let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
