ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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