careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
