real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
it glows. i had to have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize