I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
