whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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