hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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