it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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