I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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