I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Randomize
