Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize