Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
my nose is crying tears of wow.
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