u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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